Separation – like time – isn’t traumatic from God’s perspective. "Don't overlook the obvious here, friends. With God, one day is as good as a thousand years, a thousand years as a day." (2nd Peter 3:8, The Message) However, humans, some more than others and at some times more than other times, struggle with it.
Work, illness, or family obligations can require a couple to endure a temporary separation. Unexpected or planned, the result can be frustrating, especially for young couples still not secure in their relationship. Without the right perspective, the pulling apart of that which was just becoming one can be a setback.
Marriage Help for Christians Suggests Ways to Use Sample Prayers
A sample prayer is just a tool, a suggested way to talk to God. It can be read the way it is written or changed to suit the needs of the people praying it. One person can read the prayer while the other listens or both can read it together. It can be prayed
- Before the separation,
- While the couple is apart but together via phone ,
- Individually, possibly at a pre-arranged time so it’s “together” by being at the same time , and
- After the two are reunited
Prayers for Married Couples May be Helpful When Lovers are Separated
The following prayer is suggested:
“Master Timekeeper, for You there is no time. No before, no after. You put in motion the steady passing of countless seconds, traveling from the future to the past and lasting but for a moment in the gateway of the present.
“For us, time sometimes stands still. When we are together, laughing and loving, it seems a timeless moment. We are oblivious to time’s passage, but still, the seconds continue to march to their final resting place. Do they hurry faster when we are happy?
“When we are separated, time also passes but it seems the seconds are old and sick, moving slowly and painfully, taking far too long to complete their journey. Often our temporary separations are marked not by what we do but how long it will be before we can be together again.
“How can we redeem these moments that are lost to yearning for each other? Let our thoughts and desires not be so self-centered that we ignore You or the world You love. Give us abundant love so that we notice new ways of loving You by ministering to those around us.
Whether we are together or apart, we desire greater intimacy with You. Renew and refresh our relationships with You when we are separated from each other.
“God of love, You have counted out the seconds You will give us before we even met. Let us be content with Your good gift and blessing, rejoicing that especially in times of separation we continue to hunger for You and each other’s company.
“We pray in the name of Jesus, Who offers salvation even though it required separation from You.
“Amen.”
Marriage Help for Christians to Avoid Weakening the Relationship When Couples Face Separation
The following couples advice is based on wisdom gained from marriage and the Bible:
- If this is the first separation since becoming a couple, discuss ground rules openly. For example, is seeing/meeting/hanging out with a friend of the opposite gender okay or not? Is drinking – alone or with friends – an issue? The same rules should be applicable to both members.
- Unless circumstances don’t permit, set up some pre-arranged times to chat or IM. Although hearing the loved person’s voice can make the separation more difficult after hanging up, it’s good to stay in touch. One way is to utilize free services like SKYPE, e-mail, and e-cards.
- Talk about why the separation is needed or required and make sure both parties agree and understand it is necessary.
- Recognize that becoming one does not mean a total absorption of one into the other but rather a joining of two wholes. Maintaining one’s sense of self is critical to emotional health so celebrate not only the union but the two. Plan surprises for each other: love notes tucked away to be found later, or a favorite candy bar, book or magazine in an unexpected place.
- Be sure to celebrate homecomings appropriately, even if the real celebration must be postponed. Separation, jet lag and traveling long distances are stressful enough without having to cope with a disappointed lover’s expectations.
Couples Advice – Don’t Make the Temporary Separation Bigger Than it Really is
Time and intimacy meld couples from singleness into oneness. Periods of temporary, forced separation are difficult partly because they disrupt the growing-together process.
A temporary physical separation may be difficult, but it’s not the end of the world. Use the time wisely to work on hobbies, learn something new, or create a painting, song, or poem. For some people, separation is a big deal for reasons unrelated to the present, so be sensitive and thoughtful, keeping communication channels open, especially the link with God.
Couple Prayers – Temporarily Separated Again is another sample prayer for Christian couples who must be apart.
Mistie Shaw - Writing for nearly half a century, Shaw's interests and education meander from music to the military, and from faith to fun.
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